The Story of Us

For those of you who are like "Who is Jorge and when did all this happen anyway?", here is a lengthy recap. (Seriously, lengthy - I won't mind at all if you just stop reading now. Hey, I warned you.) I didn't mention anything about Jorge when I came back in the summer, because I didn't want to take away at all from the beautiful trip and the amazing things God did through all of us there, and because I wasn't sure where this would all take me... and now I feel like many important people in my life need to hear this story, because I'm not sure when they will get to meet him in person.

In summer of 2010, I spent about four weeks in Nica, which is normal for me. I was working with the same group I always go with, Sharon Baptist Church, from a rural area about an hour south of Atlanta. We work with the Iglesia Bautista Bethel down in Chinandega, and have now for about 5 years. The first day I was there was a Thursday, which means church day. I went with Liza and Karla, and at that service I noticed a guy that I had never seen before. It's not strange for there to be new people I don't know, but usually they are elderly. Jorge was sitting on a bench on the side of the church near the front, where Freddy usually sits when he translates the services when the gringo group is down. I still remember that he was wearing a white and blue checkered long-sleeved shirt and jeans, and what drew my attention is the way he looked when his eyes were closed and he was singing. It was beautiful, and I think it would have drawn anyone's attention - that look of devotion and happiness. Anyway, over the next week I saw him here and there, and then the group came down, and we started working on bible schools, eyeglass clinics, medical clinics, Sunday school, etc. and he was around a lot helping out. We were introduced and always around each other, but we didn't really talk up to this point. I didn't know what it was that had me so drawn to him, but I always wanted to be around him. I found myself gravitating towards him all the time, yet we barely spoke. I kept asking God why this was, as it seemed ridiculous to think that I was going to "meet somebody" in Nicaragua. I had joked about it lots of times, but it wasn't practical to think of it actually happening!

On Friday, the 9th of July, a group from Indiana was coming in, and I was elected as the gringo to go on the bus to welcome them. About 15 of the Nicaraguans came as well, to help with luggage and to be the welcoming party. About halfway through the ride I decided it was time to talk to this guy and get some stuff figured out, like why I didn't stop thinking about him. I was already sitting behind him and Moises, and I just struck up a conversation with him by asking if it was true that he had a daughter. I had heard this somewhere and wasn't sure. He told me yes, that he has two, and then in my head I immediately asked what in the world I was doing wasting time thinking about this guy. I never imagined myself with somebody that had two kids already! We went on to talk for a while and he explained the situation to me, and I was drawn in once again. I just felt like God was telling me not to write anything off, just to wait and see.... but I was skeptical, to say the least.

I was supposed to leave that next Wednesday, July 14th, but had extended my ticket to stay until the 19th. However, that Tuesday night at church, many people still thought I was leaving the next day, including Jorge. He came up to me and asked me for my email address, which I gave to him. Then he asked if I was leaving the next day, and I told him that I had actually changed my ticket and was staying. He just smiled and walked away, as we had just about reached our quota of what seemed to be the allowable words per day between the two of us.

That Friday, the gringo group took a huge group of Nicaraguans to the beach and out to a nice dinner to thank them for all of their help throughout our many activities, and for always treating us like brothers and sisters. We spent the day swimming, playing soccer (not me, of course), and eating delicious food. At the end of the night, the bus ride home was pretty quiet because everybody was exhausted. Liza, my usual bus-mate, was up in the front sitting with Freddy, so I was alone. Jorge asked if he could come sit next to me to look at the pictures on my camera. I showed them to him, and then he (finally) started a conversation about us. He told me that he had basically been feeling the same things I had been (he just didn't know it at the time), and he couldn't make sense of it either, since it seemed so impractical for him to fall for me or for me to fall for him. Then he just looked at me, waiting for a response. It was actually a beautiful conversation and the first of many where we spoke very frankly and openly, laying it all out there.

Our conversation was cut short when we reached my hotel for me to be dropped off, and I told him I would see him the next day and we'd pick back up where we left off. That day the group went to Leon and I didn't end up seeing him until the end of the day, when some of the men from the group wanted to play basketball with the Nicaraguans, and Hannah, Liza and I went to watch them. Jorge didn't say two words to me and I thought that maybe I had imagined all the stuff we said the day before. When they finished playing basketball, we all got back on the bus and it dropped us off at the gringo's hotel. I got out and decided to walk the four or so blocks back to my hotel. It was decided that Jorge would walk me back to my hotel, and then we were able to continue the conversation from the night before. It was my turn to talk and I told him all the things I was thinking, and how I am a very practical and serious person, and I wasn't looking for some boyfriend or for any sort of fun Nicaraguan fling (I didn't know this at the time, but he had been talking to Liza about me and she had already told him this). We reached my hotel and decided that that night after church we would hang out. That night he came with me to the other group's hotel to hear Lito and Freddy give their testimonies and to hang out with them, as it was their last night and the big group was leaving the next morning (I still had one more day). It was a great time, but I felt my time quickly running out, and we hadn't had a chance to talk any more about us. Afterward, Jorge walked me back to my hotel and it was decided that I would go watch him play baseball the next morning. I remember that I spent a lot of time in prayer that night asking God what in the world he wanted with us, and why I felt this pull towards Jorge. I felt a comfort with him that I don't normally feel with people; I felt like I needed him in my life.

That morning we went to church at 7:00 (yes, early!) and it started to rain, so the baseball game was canceled, which probably worked to our benefit. Instead we went to the park and sat at a table for a while, and Jorge poured out his whole life story to me. He is proof that God truly changes people from the inside out. Jorge was basically a hoodlum before, and was into drugs and drinking at a very young age. He had a rough lifestyle and was basically a kid hanging out on the streets, stirring up trouble at every turn. He was with a woman for several years and has two little girls from this relationship, as I mentioned earlier. He got invited to a retreat and went just to be able to get away, although he had no interest in God. He was raised Catholic, like most Nicaraguans, and regularly attended mass, but he had no concept of a God that wanted a personal relationship with him. He met Jesus at that retreat, and his life changed. He says he felt loved for the first time in his life, and he finally knew what all those people meant when they talked about a loving father God. He cleaned up his act and eventually ended up leaving his girlfriend, and moved back into his house with his family.

That was about three years ago. He started attending a church that is pretty far from his house (it's actually near Villa Catalina, for those of you who get the reference). Then about a year ago, he was invited to Bethel Baptist Church (the church we work with) and tried it out, as his house is about five houses down the street from it, and the rest is history. (More on this later.)

I had to go then, and spend some time with Liza and Freddy, since it was my last day there. We agreed to hang out that night. He came over to my hotel and we talked more about ourselves and our life stories, and somewhere in the mix we forgot to ever talk about what was going to happen when I left (which was about 5 hours away, at this point). We said goodbye and I was left feeling more confused than ever, but I had no time to dwell on it because I was being picked up in about an hour to head to Managua and hadn't packed my stuff yet.

The whole way to Managua I wondered what in the world God had in store for me. (The whole decision of wanting to move down there had happened pretty much in the first week I was there, but the two concepts were not at all connected for me). I had a long day of traveling, and I spent it quietly pondering what was supposed to happen with me.

That night, Jorge texted me to see how my flight was, and then he called me, and we figured it was time to have a real talk about what was going to happen with us now that I was gone (about 24 hours too late). We decided that we believed God had something in mind for us and that we were going to 'be together', if only in spirit, and see this through. And now I can very honestly say, 8 months later, that we had no idea what was in store for us, or how much we'd grow to love each other.

My school year was about to start, but all I could think about was my life in Nicaragua, and these huge decisions I had been making for my life, and how my heart was just not here anymore. And then when I thought about Jorge, I decided I needed to go back down there so we could have more time together and figure some stuff out. So I booked my ticket for September 3rd. I had never taken more than two days in a row off work, and this was going to be 5 school days! That scared me, but I believed this was really important.

There were still about 7 weeks between the two trips, though. We had to learn how to have a relationship over the phone (We hadn't discovered the wonderfulness of Skype yet), and it was definitely difficult. Neither of us has ever really loved talking on the phone, but as this was our only mode of communication, we spent hours every day learning more about each other and figuring out how to be together, apart.

The trip in September confirmed everything for me, that this was for real. We spent a wonderful week together, with some more very frank conversations, and decided we should try to get him a visitor's visa to come meet my friends and family. However, as time went on, we knew that his chances of being accepted were slim and probably worse right before major holiday time, so we decided that I would go down again in December, and spend Christmas and the new year with him. It was really hard to tell my mom that I was going to miss Christmas with my family for the first time, and things were already really strained with us ever since I got back in the summer and told her I felt God wanted me to move to Nicaragua.

The rest is well, history. We have spent countless hours on the phone and on Skype (we figured out how to use it while I was there in September and it has been a huge blessing ever since), and have cherished every moment we've been able to have together, in September, December and January.

I have been amazed at how beautiful this whole thing really is, this "us" thing. We have both had to make sacrifices in order to put the time and effort necessary into making this work, we have had to learn how to communicate well, how to sense each others' needs through words and through intonation; we have learned how to be together, apart. We have learned how to overcome language and cultural barriers at times. We have learned how two very independent people can come together and need each other.... and we have learned that there are crazier things in this world than two people from different countries falling in love with each other. And trust me, it has not been easy and it definitely has not been without effort. We have worked extremely hard to make this relationship work, all the while trying to make sure it is God focused. We both so badly want to remain in God's will, and have honestly and earnestly sought God's guidance in making decisions about 'us'.

This week, Jorge's request for a visa was turned down. We were hoping he would be able to come visit for a good length of time and meet my family and friends, not to mention, spend time with me! However, God obviously has different plans for us. We spent the days before the interview talking about how we would react either way, good or bad, and how we truthfully believe that God has a wonderful plan for our benefit, and that we have to trust in Him. We read Philippians 4:6-7, which talks about not worrying, but rather presenting our requests to God in prayer, with thanksgiving, and that we did. We knew the rest was in His hands. Although I would have LOVED a more favorable (for us) response, I believe the beauty of this situation comes in praising God and saying how good he is, and actually believing that he is so good, despite a big disappointment.
I am headed back down to my favorite place on March 26th for ten days for my spring break (I will also get to spend his birthday with him, which is neat). It will have been 76 days since we have seen each other. (Last time it was exactly 100.) We will do our best to appreciate every second we'll have together in those ten days, (I've gotten really good at "cherishing the moment") and we'll talk about what will happen next. It is always about that 'next time', and hopefully soon there won't have to be a next time.

I don't ever claim to know what God is thinking (or even doing, really), but sometimes it's so interesting to sit back and look at how the different areas and times in your life weave together to create a masterpiece so intricate that only God could have orchestrated it all. For instance, lots of people have said something to the effect of, "Wow, it's so weird that you didn't meet Jorge until your 8th trip down there, especially when he lives just a few houses down from the church!". My response is always to share with them that there are several reasons it would not have worked out beneficially for us to meet back then, including the following: My Spanish was horrible until a few years ago and I would never have been able to maintain a relationship in my second language; Jorge was a very different person for some of those years and was not walking with God and definitely not someone I would have been interested in; I spent most of 2003 until 2008 really becoming comfortable with myself and learning to know myself very well. I needed that time alone. Also, in that time of my life, I never would have been able to maintain a relationship with this distance. I see now why I never met him before, although he lives just five houses down from the church where I have spent so much time over the past five years...

I don't honestly know what is next. That is scary, but that's also life. God has a plan though, of that I'm certain, and it's one that is beneficial for me and so much better than anything I could think of or imagine. And about 1,150 miles away in Chinandega, Nicaragua, there is a dude who believes the same thing. (There are probably several, actually, but you know...). So I will go down there in 20 days, and I will spend as much time as possible with the man that I believe God picked out for me long ago. I'll be grateful for those ten precious days, and I'll trust God that someday I'll have much more than ten days at a time.